[This post is not necessarily about food, but instead it’s more of a backstory as to why I’ve decided to share the food I cook/make. To show where I came from, and where I am. To inspire. With love.]
This is not a post that everybody will relate to or care to read. This is a post to reach out to people like me. People who have wanted to get their health back and FAILED. MANY. MANY. TIMES. I’m talking to that person who, maybe, was once happy with their body and health, and let other things in life become more important than taking care of themselves.
I’m talking to that person that looks in the mirror and doesn’t know how they got where they are. Who spends time, how ever little, or how ever much of their day, feeling less than. Less than they could be. Less than their potential. And it feels like life is in the way, and it’s just too hard to get back to where they felt comfortable with themselves. Who has wanted to make changes for so long, but has never been able to commit and stick to anything that worked. We have felt failure over and over, and embarrassment, and shame, and maybe even disgust, and don’t even know where to begin, to get back to the “me” we felt comfortable with.
I’m talking to the mom who feels like she could be a better mom and wife if she had more energy for her family. That mom who worries about setting a bad example for her children because she’s grown to have no confidence in herself. The person who loves a sport or activity, but doesn’t participate because he/she can’t or doesn’t feel comfortable. The person who said they would “start Monday” only to fail by Thursday and plan to start again next week. The person who wants to make changes, but has no interest in really making changes “right now”. The person who says “it’s just not the right time.” The person who says they’re comfortable being “bigger”, but truly would like to feel better, and worries about their health. The person who would like to eat healthy, but doesn’t know how or what to eat. That person who just needs to find something that will work for them. The person desperate to not fail again. I’m her. That was me. That is me. They’re all me. And it’s hard to be her, and it hurts to be her, and I’m done being her.
If I read this just a few months back I would probably think to myself “that’s nice, that someone knows how I feel, but she can’t offer me anything to help. I’ve tried before, what will make this time different? I’ve got too much going on right now to ‘start’…” and on, and on, would come the excuses in my head. I loved (what I call) the excuse train. I would jump on it any chance I got. Even when I really didn’t want to ride, Somehow I just would.
I do have something to offer. Something pretty powerful if you let it be. Hope.
I was all of those things and all of those excuses. I felt all of those awful feelings, but I just started. Again. I just said enough is enough and I took a leap. One day at a time one meal at a time. I found something that finally worked for me! The inches and pounds that I have released are not important (though I will admit, my trainer was impressed 😉). The changes I’ve made in my mind and my life are immeasurable. The weight that feels automatically lifted when you have the strength to decide you will not keep doing what you were doing. Realizing ‘nothing changes if nothing changes’ is a very simple concept that can be immensely difficult to implement.
It could be deciding to walk every day, even if it’s just parking further away from work, or the store. It could be committing to not eat after 7:30pm. It could be giving up that Carmel mocha frappe (clearly I don’t drink these, because I can’t even make up a respectable fake name for one 😬) drink you have every morning. You can start small. Or you can leap. It could be all those things. Decide to eat better and move your body more. Make the changes necessary to give you the health/body you want, however long it will take. Just start. You could get a trainer, try a nutrition system and eat according to a meal plan, or you can look up recipes and workouts on line. The resources there are amazing, and probably a lot better than you realize. My point is that anybody can decide to change. You don’t have to overwhelm yourself with something your body can’t handle and you don’t have to have the money to buy a gym membership. You just have to decide to change. You can do it right now!! This second!
I have made many changes in my life. I have committed to eating better and working out. I personally LOVE food and I love to cook (obviously, I started a food blog!), but if I’m honest with myself, I am a “soccer-baseball-dance-swim-first grader-2 year old- mom”, I won’t eat breakfast. I don’t have time for anything healthy, so I will skip it. That’s just how I roll. So, when I was introduced to an amazing nutrition system, that included a shake that I could have for breakfast, I thought it would be a great fit for me. If you asked me if I would ever be a person who drinks protein shakes every day, I would have told you “no, I like to chew my food” (haha), but now, I love my protein shakes, and for me they couldn’t be more convenient! I still eat food. I’ll say it again, I love food! But I also drink protein shakes, every day, and I love them. I also said before, everyone needs to find what works for them. This is what works for me. It’s just food that’s really easy and convenient. When I’m not having a shake I just make sure most of my snacks and meals are clean and balanced. And I work out. I do very little cardio every week. My workouts consist of majority weight training and I am losing weight and my body is changing a lot. It’s pretty nice to see, without spending hours on the treadmill a week (“ain’t nobody got time for that.” 😜), as I have tried that, in the past, and stopped because I didn’t like it. I had to find what was right for me. And it’s not cardio.
I’m going to be very vulnerable here, but I want to get my point across, so I think it’s important. There is a reason I have just told you everything I’m doing now. It’s so you can compare where I was, to where I am now. It’s because I was all those people I explained above. The ugly truth: I was very overweight. Definitely considered obese. I felt helpless, and sad, and embarrassed, and guilty, and unworthy, and ashamed, and disgusted, and overwhelmed. And no one should feel those feelings about themselves. And now I don’t. Am I terrified to fail again? Yes. Anyone would be. But I let that terror fuel me. Now I feel strong, and empowered, and worthy, and determined, and inspired, and dedicated, and happy. I want that for everyone! I wish I could reach out to every person who feels any of those feelings I felt, and tell them they can change. That I will be here to support them and I want to help in any way I can. I want to offer hope. Hope that if you’ve tried and failed, what feels like, a hundred times, you should still try again, Because it will be your time. You just have to believe in yourself. Don’t give up on you. You deserve to feel your best. I believe in you.
3 thoughts on “Failure is not an option”
Thank you. I could say I am a close clone to you. I am less than two weeks shy of two months on program. Also I am doing the Healthy Mind…so needed that. Went in for weight loss but have been gifted so much more. The weight isn’t moving as I wish but told I need to be patient. I can’t do a lot of exercise as I have bone in bone both knees so praying with weight loss will help immensely. Have breast cancer,list most of my taste and smell so good isn’t to enjoyable. So it’s a process. Thank you for your honesty. I will save and re read.
Very nice post, Cenda. Makes me want to do something to help myself, today! I will take our dog for a nice walk and skip the chips today!
Cenda – Thank you for the post. It’s hard to reach a goal only to see it start seeing it slip away. I’ve reached my “happily ever after – me” but so hard to maintain and continue on. I want you to know that your posts keep me going when I find all the excuses not to work out or sneak a bite of another candy bar. Hang in there – we all need a push once in a while and you keep me going. Thank YOU!